A man hires a hitman to kill his wife. They meet in a cafe so that the man can pay half the fee in advance. The man asks the hitman if he is up for the job and if he is experienced enough. The hitman says " I gave killed many people, i am the best shot in the whole country, i will shoot her in the left breast twice from 500 yards away". The man says to the hitman "That would be no good, i want her killed not kneecapped". :)
OK...here's another one, a bit more topical Folowing the banking troubles all over the world, uncertainty has now hit the banks in Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared staff may get a raw deal. :}
Good one..another hitman joke! Guy gets the sunday morning off to play golf. Rushes to the course and gets placed with another single play and they tee off. they get to talking and the guy tells him how luck he feels to be playing golf this early on a sunday. His playing mate confides in him during this intimate moment and reveals that he is a hitman by profession. The dude, in disbelief says he should prove it. Guy pulls out a long-ass rifle from his golf back on the 16th tee and looks at the house in the distance. He conveys, that he sees a couple in the throws of passion. Dude is interested and takes the rifle, to his dismay it is his wife and best friend. He asks the hitman for a price to take both out to which he replies "R10 grand a bullet, i never miss". Dude agrees but on 1 conditions, wife gets shot in the mouth for giving him lip and guy in the privates for doing his wife. Sniper agrees. He takes aim. Then there is a long pause, at which point the Dude ask whats taking so long. Sniper chirps " If you hold on i can save you R10 grand!"