Voor Koos vertrek oorlog toe sit hy 'n kuisheidsgordel op sy vrou, sluit dit en gee die sleutel vir sy pel Ben. "As ek nie binne 4jr terug is nie, sluit oop en geniet" Hy spring op sy perd en val ini pad. So halfuur later sien hy 'n stofwolk agter hom. Hy stop en sien dis Ben. "Wat skort?" vra Koos. Ben uitasem : "dis die verkeerde sleutel!"
Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says, "Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands. By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees, if I tried really hard. By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about forty five degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just one hand." "So", says the second drunk, "What's your point?" "Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."
My name is Mr. Anonymous....here's my story... I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportman's Double? "What's that?" I asked "It's a mother and daughter threesome," she sid I said, "No" - excitedly. We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was "my lucky night". I went back to her place. She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: "Mum, you still awake?"
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon to clear his parched throat.He walked up and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance.. never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old fool, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector - not wanting to get a toe blown off - started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barrelled shotgun, and *****ed both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.The crowd stopped laughing immediately! The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever licked a mule's ass?"The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to." There are a few lessons for us all here: Never be arrogant. Don't waste ammunition. Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are. Always, always make sure you know who has the power.