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Ok boys and Girls I think It time for a joke ( other than the JSE that is)

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john_1
Super Contributor
Yesterday was great fun, but this maybe up maybe down is a little boring. Any body got a good joke to share, as a day without laughter is a day waisted.
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13 REPLIES 13
CAB
Contributor
Ques: So what did Zimbabweans use to cook their food before paraffin? Ans: Electricity....
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bert
Occasional Contributor
A guy goes to a dentist and says "I think I'm a moth". The dentist asks, " Then why did you come to a dentist?". The guy replies, "cause the light was on".
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Mic
Super Contributor
Two dyslectic bank robbers walks into a bank shouting "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f uckup.
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Not applicable
Ali G went to his mate's fancy dress costume party wearing nothing but a girl on his back.
"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked indignantly.
"I Iz a snail," Ali replied.
The exasperated host asked, "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"
Ali replied. "Dat Iz Michelle."
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Not applicable
In a speech this week, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said America needs to work together to conserve oil. Then Arnold lit a cigar and drove over the crowd in his hummer. --Conan O'Brien
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DavidG
Contributor
It was entertainment night at the Senior Center. Claude the Hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations." He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "watch the watch, watch the watch, and watch the watch..." The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the Hypnotist's' fingers and fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces. "SH!T!" said the Hypnotist. It took three days to clean up the Senior Center.
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YNWA
Super Contributor
I have a Labrador retriever, and was buying a large bag of Epol at Spar and was in line to check out. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (Duh!) On impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Epol Diet again, although, I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Epol pellets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me? I told her no, I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my balls when a car hit me. I thought the guy standing behind her was going to need help as he fell on the floor laughing.
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Beep_Beep
Super Contributor
Heh heh - very good all - thanks guys
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Not applicable
Wat is die ooreenskoms tussen Gè en Bless--------Guns & roses
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destech
Contributor
A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis."
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john_1
Super Contributor
Hey Zing! I kmow why you think that is funny! Does the waitress know you ex boy friends!
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john_1
Super Contributor
Hers one for the girls... What do you do when late at night you see your husband stumbling in the yard.....RELOAD!
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Pleiades
Frequent Contributor
Drunk man arrives home to see his wife in curlers standing at the door holding a broomstick. "Shorry" he says "I'd fogotten you were going out tonight"
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