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Stop me if you have heard this one?

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What do you say to a hedge fund manager who can't short sell?
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18 REPLIES 18
john_1
Super Contributor
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YNWA
Super Contributor
Windbuks??....want hy moet in die middle knaak en van agter af gelaai word?
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barry_1
Super Contributor
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Not applicable
i will have a quarter pounder with cheese please What is the difference between a banker and a pidgeon?
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Not applicable
You have to shoot the pigeon, but the banker shoots himself?
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Russ
Super Contributor
The one is a birdbrain and the other flies?
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Old_Eagle
Occasional Contributor
Skaaptjop, the pidgeon is still able to make a deposit on a ferrari.
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_nova
Super Contributor
How many investment bankers can you fit in the back of a pickup truck? Only 2 - you have to leave room for the lawn mowers!
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_nova
Super Contributor
PRICELESS: The investment banker and the Mexican An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked, "How long does it take to catch them?" The Mexican replied: "Only a little while". The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15-20 years." "But what then?" The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions." "Millions.. Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
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_nova
Super Contributor
BWAHAHAHA: Long Term Investor? ... a Short Term Investor who has failed.
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Russ
Super Contributor
That's worth thinking about.
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Pam_1
Regular Contributor
Precious. Willem Wikkelspies aka Shakespeare once said: "Many a truth spoken in jest." Which raises the Mexican/American question: is greed culture related? Or closer at home - sub culture related?
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_nova
Super Contributor
ok, last one, but it is too good to not add here: In 2008, so the story goes, bankers have but a few options. It's either being outsourced to India, relocated to the Middle East or China, or getting laid off. The mantra, then, is:'Mumbai, Dubai, Shanghai, or goodbye'.
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What do you call a trade that has gone bad? And investment... Client asks his bank: When my cheque is returned marked "Insufficient funds", does that refer to me or to you?
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Not applicable
What do you call a trade that has gone bad? An investment... Client asks his bank: When my cheque is returned marked "Insufficient funds", does that refer to me or to you?
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Not applicable
Difference between a banker and a pigeon - a pigeon can still put a deposit on a porsche
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HiSo
Frequent Contributor
Following the problems with Lehmann Bros and in the sub-prime lending market in America, and the run on Northern Rock, HBOS and Bradford & Bingley in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
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_nova
Super Contributor
geh geh geh, this is absolutely excellent!!!! :-)
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