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Project_Directo
Super Contributor
Mick, from Dublin, appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds. You've done very well so far,' said, Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, 'but for a million pounds you've only got one lifeline left -phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question......will you go for it?' 'Sure,' said Mick. 'I'll have a go!' 'Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?' A: Sparrow B: Thrush C: Magpie D: Cuckoo I haven't got a clue,' said Mick, 'so I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy back home in Dublin'. Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. 'Fookin hell, Mick!' cried Paddy. 'Dat's simple......it's a cuckoo.' 'Are you sure?' 'I'm fookin sure.' Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, 'I'll go wit Cuckoo as me answer.' 'Is that your final answer?' asked Chris 'Dat it is, Sir.' There was a long, long pause, then the presenter screamed, 'Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!' The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink. 'Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build it's own nest? 'Because he lives in a Fookin clock!!!
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4 REPLIES 4
YNWA
Super Contributor
Top 1 PD....."Baptising an Irishman"...... An Irishman, is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk, 'Are you ready to find Jesus?' The drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.' So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, 'Brother have you found Jesus?' The drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.' The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks again, 'Have you found Jesus me brother?' The drunk again answers, 'No,oi I haven't found Jesus.' By this time the preacher is at his wits end and dunks the drunk in the water again --- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds and when he begins kicking his arms and legs he pulls him up. The preacher again asks the drunk, 'For the love of God have you found Jesus?' (Are you ready for this????) The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, 'Are you sure dis is where he fell in?"
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Project_Directo
Super Contributor
cant top that YNWA,LOL
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Not applicable
Man who runs behind car gets exhausted. Man who runs in front of car, gets tired.
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Galuc
Super Contributor
Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says, 'Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands. By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried really hard. By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about twenty degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just one hand.' 'So,' says the second drunk, 'what's your point?' 'Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get.'
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